I chose to stay at home and raise our children~ including homeschooling them. I wouldn't have missed it for the world. I mean we made some great memories and had a few that were not so great but we sure learned in the process. I worked many part- time jobs but my focus was my family. All these years of homeschooling have come to an end. My house is too quiet and I am just not sure what to do with myself. I can have a pity party or I can celebrate that I had my children all day ~ every day. I can celebrate that I have independent children who stand and trust their God.
I have a rule for me~ it is that I find a reason to celebrate every day. I started this when the children were all little and the days were long. If I had something to celebrate it kept me from joining myself in my own personal pity party. Being a stay-at-home mom has great rewards but the pay stinks and the accolades are few. No one notices that meal on the table at 5:00 that took hours to plan, buy and cook~ they only notice if it is not there.
This morning as I was reading a devotion I was challenged to read Psalms 139~ go ahead I dare you! (Just click that link.) Before I was done I was crying like a baby. Lately~ I spend most of my days with just me and Pippa Lou. Pippa Lou is my little spoiled rotten Corgi. I catch dirty clothes and hand out food to a couple hungry men. Not exactly an ego boosting job! My girls have moved away and my life consists of car shows and grease. Sometimes I want to run away to my girls. Just to eat crumpets and sip tea. Ok~ maybe Diet Coke and chocolate!
I have invested my entire life in my family and now I have time to invest in me. Only I just don't know who that is. You ever been there? I feel confused and uncertain which direction to turn. I remember thinking that when I reached this stage in life when I could take a bath by myself and read a book I would do all these wonderful things. I had great plans to fly! Only now I don't know where to fly to.
If it sounds like I am having a pity party~ bear with me. I have struggled with my identity and value for years. But I know that I am a daughter of the King. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. No one can take my place in the Father's heart! I am special in God's eyes and YOU ARE TOO! Now that is something to celebrate today!