I woke up this morning and my first thought was ~ Oh yeah, we are still facing that giant. It is an ugly giant. If you have lived very long I know you know what I am talking about. When something is threatening to rob you of normalcy..... rob you of your foundation..... maybe even steal some of your faith. Those times when you wake up in the middle of the night and worry makes hot rocks churn in your soul~ and you are frozen almost paralyzed in place. What do you do when it's not just a worry but reality? Life is about to take a major turn and you are uncertain where it is you are going to land you.
Moving forward is going to take more courage than I have. It is never easy to step out of our comfort in fear of taking a wrong move. So, I wait. I wait for a sign from God ~ a signal to tell me it is ok to jump out in faith to the unknown. I wait for my Heavenly Father to say it's ok to proceed. I know it is going to take courage and I fear I don't have what it takes. So, I wait. I wait for God to open the next door that we are to take.
I hate this place. I really do. I have been here before. In fact, I started my life in fear as a child of an addict father. My early years were formed in fear. I was raised in fear. BUT~ God has brought me out of that fear. We have come a long way. God has picked me up and set my feet on a solid rock. SO why~ do I have to be here again?
God sent His Son so that we may walk in liberty instead of fear. SO, I cling to my Father with my imperfect trust praying that He will give me the courage to face this fear once again that has momentarily come in the form of a giant.
God has proven Himself to me in mighty ways as we have journeyed through these past 32 years together. He has taken my ashes and turned them into beauty. He has restored all that Satan robbed from me. He has given me faith over fear. He has held me all of my days~ my 18,163 days of my life.
So I am going to give God my imperfect courage and I know with God, I can do hard things. I can face this giant in courage and I know that MY GOD will fight my battle. I only need to cling to Him and watch to see how He decides to handle this matter.
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