It is a cloudy and rainy day here. I wonder if it is ever going to stop raining. As I sit by my window I happen to notice my morning visitor. I am enjoying all the little critters in my yard.
I have been watching this momma Blue Bird out my kitchen window all week building her nest in the birdhouse right outside my kitchen window. The Blue Bird is the Missouri state bird. Back home they were rare to see but here they are plentiful. They are beautiful.
New birth is all around us. I love my new little yard ~ it is much like a Nature Center. We have all kinds of creatures stirring around. This time of year Missouri is clothed in all her beauty.
50 in the Bible means Jubilee. This is the year of Jubilee in my life~ if you know what I mean. I just turned 50 and I am in a new city, new home, and a new church. Life has changed for us in every possible way . God has brought us here. I feel much like the children of Isreal standing on the edge of the Red Sea. As we prayed and fasted we begin to see God work in mighty ways. I just love it when that happens. We took a step and doors were closed and opened. Our home which we listed ourselves sold while we were out of town in only 2 weeks. Our neighbor allowed a sweet couple in to see it and they were the ones God sent. God sold our house. On that same trip, we accidently found our home~ no kidding. We watched as our God parted the seas in our lives. As we stepped the waters parted, the obstacles disappeared and peace and clarity led our path.
We have landed and most boxes have been unpacked. It is quiet ~ too quiet. Our last baby moved out and stayed behind in my hometown. Wow ~ that has been hard. I miss my boy. This empty nest thing is highly over rated. I miss my kids.
Empty~ that is how my year of Jubilee has started. For the first time in all my 50 years that I remember ~my datebook is empty. I don't like empty ~ not at all. It dawned on me that I don't remember feeling empty. I feel caught in between where I have been and where I desire to be. No place feels like home. I am weary and I need help to move beyond empty. I need God to show me so much right now. Where am I to serve? What church does God want us to join? I am frustrated. After all the parting of the waters, it is all so very still now. I need help to get back on track~ living life. I want answers right now.
Instead of going to God and begging for answers, needs, and desperation maybe I should be honest with myself and God. I need to go to my Heavenly Father just as I am ~ EMPTY. Not praying for answers but with child-like trust and allow God to just fill my empty and weary soul.
Life has a way of beating us down. We can go to God with hurts, bruises, cuts and broken hearts~ just plain empty. When we go to the Father empty of this life it is then that He will fill us with new life, new grace, and new direction.