Saturday, January 22, 2011

Mrs. Shindorf Has Taken Up Drinking~ A Miss Billie Story

Well, as you all know if you have been reading my post I spend Fridays driving Miss Billie. Miss Billie is close to hitting mid 80's and she is a spitting image of Miss Daisy in the movie. Well except for the fact that she dresses in style and has the most amazing taste in jewelry and clothes. She can be every bit as fiesty and I always give Miss Billie her way. She goes to her personal trainer twice a week and still drives her car but she would rather I drive. 

Miss Billie had an accident while she was voting in the November election. The accelerator on the gas pedal stuck and she went over an embankment~she was lucky she walked away unharmed. With the winter road conditions she has been relying on me a bit more. 

 ~Friday Miss Billie sent me to the store for groceries and on her list were two bottles of wine. Well if you know anything about us Baptist girls~ we don't want to be caught dead buying liquor at the local  Piggly Wiggly Market if you know what I mean. So after reading the list I start to work up a nervous sweat. I mean what in the world am I to do if one of my Sunday School girls show up watching me buy the very juice that I have warned them about. I could see it now~ "Pastor~ I saw Mrs. Shindorf buying  liquor at the local Piggly Wiggly." So what does a girl do? 

Why she calls her best friend~yep~ you guessed it~ I called my sister. She was no help~no help at all. I get to the store and I load all the groceries in my cart. I see about half the people who over the past 40 years  have left our church~ I am not kidding you. Then low and behold~ I see a little 20 something girl with wild color hair of all shades in a beauty school uniform. She smiles and says," Hello, Mrs. Shindorf." I had her in Sunday School in the 5th grade~she rode the bus to church for years. We spoke and I told her I had missed seeing her at church. Oh my~by now I am really sweating it. I tried to call my husband~ I am getting desperate. He just turned me off. He was in a meeting~which always happens when I really need him. I circle the store again. Who can I call to get me out of this mess. Well I could just lie and tell her they were out but she wanted two different kinds. Well last I checked lying was a sin too. Now I have already told Miss Billie why I don't drink. Maybe I should just not be such a coward and tell her ~ I can't buy her wine. But for goodness sakes she is old and tired and didn't they use wine for medical purposes back in the day? Oh boy by now I am really losing it. Miss Billie always gets her way~ have you ever watched driving Miss Daisy? Well then you just know what a mess I am in!
Want to know what I finally did?

I went to Miss Billie's favorite check out lady and told her~ "Sue ~ Would you please go get these two bottles of wine for Miss Billie and please sack them for me too?" She looked at me a little funny but she did it anyway. Thank goodness! So if you hear a rumor that Mrs. Shindorf has taken up drinking you know the rest of the story!

Hurry Spring!



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