Tuesday, July 1, 2014

My Reason To Celebrate Today~

This is not the best picture but this is Grammy Carrie and Livi chatting at the end of the day. I am celebrating today that I can  see my babies every day on FaceTime. When Livi hears her Grammy's voice she wants her momma's phone. She grins from ear to ear and gets all excited. Why? Because her Grammy acts like a fool. I clap and sing ~ "You Are My Sunshine." I call her my sunshine all over the place. We act silly until she gets bored.  I can have myself a pity party that she lives so far away or I can celebrate that we have a way to talk and sing together across the miles.

I chose to stay at home and raise our children~ including homeschooling them. I wouldn't have missed it for the world. I mean we made some great memories and had a few that were not so great but we sure learned in the process. I worked many part- time jobs but my focus was my family. All these years of homeschooling have come to an end. My house is too quiet and I am just not sure what to do with myself. I can have a pity party or I can celebrate that I had my children all day ~ every day.  I can celebrate that I have independent children who stand and trust their God. 

I have a rule for me~ it is that I find a reason to celebrate every day. I started this when the children were all little and the days were long. If I had something to celebrate it kept me from joining myself in my own personal pity party. Being a stay-at-home mom has great rewards but the pay stinks and the accolades are few. No one notices that meal on the table at 5:00 that took hours to plan, buy and cook~ they only notice if it is not there. 

This morning as I was reading a devotion I was challenged to read  Psalms 139~ go ahead I dare you! (Just click that link.) Before I was done I was crying like a baby.  Lately~ I spend most of my days with just me and Pippa Lou. Pippa Lou is my little spoiled rotten Corgi.  I catch dirty clothes and hand out food to a couple hungry men. Not exactly an ego boosting job!  My girls have moved away and my life consists of car shows and grease. Sometimes I want to run away to my girls. Just to eat crumpets and sip tea. Ok~ maybe Diet Coke and chocolate!

I have invested my entire life in my family and now I have time to invest in me. Only I just don't know who that is. You ever been there? I feel confused and uncertain which direction to turn. I remember thinking that when I reached this stage in life when I could take a bath by myself and read a book I would do all these wonderful things. I had great plans to fly! Only now I don't know where to fly to.

If it sounds like I am having a pity party~ bear with me. I have struggled with my identity and value for years. But I know that I am a daughter of the King. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. No one can take my place in the Father's heart! I am special in God's eyes and YOU ARE TOO!  Now that is something to celebrate today! 

Psalm 139:17-18King James Version (KJV)

17 How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them!
18 If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee.
If you are teetering on a pity party ~ maybe it is time to turn it into a praise party and invite a friend or two.


Betsy said...

Carrie...did you write this post or did I? You have summed up my life, my feelings and my heart so VERY well. I do believe we are kindred spirits.
Face time is my best friend right now for the same reason. I sing, make faces and have a blast with my grandchildren every day on that iPad or phone. Our son in Japan FaceTimes weekly. It is such a HUGE blessing to be able to see their faces while we talk. And it's free. Hubby definitely likes that.

I'm still trying to find my place in the world after children. I do lots of charitable work, keep busy with the church, but there is still a hole in my life that my children's needs and education filled. However, I celebrate the fct that they all love God, have great careers and are happy in their lives. And they still love Dad and Mom. In this world of dysfunction that is a huge reason the celebrate.

Down On The Farm said...

OH my sweet girl. I FEEL YOUR PAIN! You should go read my blog post for today . . . we are both in the same boat. I know exactly how you feel. I am 45 days away from being a true empty nester, and my 50th birthday is next week. And I ask myself the same question . . . what do I do now?? So if you have any words of wisdom, please share. I too had grand plans when my kids were young. The old when-my-kids-are-grown-I-will . . . . Well, now my kids are grown, and my plans . . . uh, I don't have any. I know that God has a plan for BOTH OF US. And we need to focus on that. Praying for you my sweet friend!!

Sun Valley Homestead said...

I hear ya...but then we keep adopting and I don't think I will ever do anything for myself again LOL. I will have kids at home until I'm old...if God chooses to give me more years.

But "now" when I think to complain I just think of my sweet bloggy/facebook/adoptive mother of children from Liberia (like mine)friend who was just killed in a car accident this weekend. She left behind her husband and 15 children. I will never look at life the same.




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