We have retired. That means we are both at home 24/7. I adore my husband but I wasn't prepared for every day to feel like a Saturday or that I would feel like I had to give up my alone time. I have never really cared for Saturdays because I love organized structure... all of the time. And I just didn't realize how much I needed alone time. I jumped at a chance to review this book.
The authors of Spouse in House also had a hard time adjusting to joining the "he's at home all the time" club. Cynthia and Becky go back and forth with the things they struggled with by being at home all of the time in their marriages. More people are working from home now... also creating the 24/7 at home struggles. These two ladies gathered research from couples around the country and get to the root cause of why and how to navigate through this new season in life all while still keeping the passion alive.
I liked how they both went back and forth both being honest about the hard issues and then giving practical advice on how to overcome them. They start out the book with the first chapter, “Honey, I'm Home...All. The. Time." Welcome to the HHATT ~ He's home all the time club.
I think the chapter that I loved the most was~ " But Honey, Both Names are on the Mortgage." I had run the house for over thirty years and I was not ready for "ALL" the input or having someone now looking over my shoulder on things that never mattered to him while he was distracted with his career. I really wanted things to say the same. Reading that it was his house too reminded me that we needed to make room and space in our home for the new work that we both do now in retirement. She really does need some sort of a "she shed" and he needs a "man cave" for sanity's sake. Creating a place where we both can have that alone space for quiet time is okay. Building that pole barn for him to have his workspace is just what we needed.
I do echo the "We're Dancing, but He's Listening to Different Music." My guy loves 80's music and I just hate it. It doesn't bring back good memories for me but I can sure relax to a little county. We really don't want our men to be just like us or even our friends. I came away with ~ Keep those girlfriends and maybe get some earplugs. God made the differences on purpose and I kind of like them.
It was great to hear from Becky on this topic~ she had learned to manage to care for her husband, children, home, and career while still reading, writing, and growing as a person. But when her husband announced he was retiring she started to feel panic again. It sort of changes everything in life! In the end, we find that God created us to be who we are as individuals and still maintain a healthy relationship... finding a way to make it work takes a little creativity and compromise... AGAIN! God does make all the difference in our lives as women and as a couple.
Ha~ and I learned that the "woman speak twice as many words as men" has been debunked. New research says females speak 16,215 words each day and males speak 15,669 words a day. Which is considered a statistical dead heat. BUT... in general, women talk more about their feelings than men do. Women talk more about people and men talk more about objects.
I love this quote ~"The talents and passions that God has given you don't need to be packed away in a cardboard box with that old nameplate. Ask him to show you how to use those gifts and passions in a new way." I think this is a message Brian and I need to both hear.
We have been:
Home Sweet Parenting
Home Sweet Builders
Home Sweet Educator
Home Sweet Homeschool
Home Sweet Administrator
Home Sweet Business
Home Sweet Counselor
Home Sweet Director
BUT we must never forget that HOME is always "HOME." Home is a place to recuperate. A home is a place for business operations. Home is a classroom. But home must never lose its identity as home.
I so enjoyed reading this book. If you find yourself in a season of 24/7 and you feel bad for struggling as I did~ this book is for you. Although I adore my husband, I was not prepared for 24/7. This book is just what I needed.